Artwork by Tula Winton
Dear Lenny,
This is my first year going to prom and I’m worried. What do I need to know?
Thanks,
Junior
Dear Junior,
Here’s what you need to know. Prom is Saturday, May 2, from 8 pm to midnight. The shindig will be held at the Hilton Durham near Duke University and the theme is “Enchanted Swan Lake.”
Tickets are $80 for a single and $125 for a couple. They cannot be purchased after 11:59 pm on May 1, so I’d shake a peg leg and step to!
Don’t forget to dance and have fun. You’re only a junior once!
Sincerely,
Lenny
Dear Lenny,
My date and I want to go out to eat before we get to prom this year. Do you have any recommendations?
Sincerely,
Curious
Dear Curious,
Aye, I’ve always thought the grub is the most important part of any special night. I recommend trying The Loop., Iit’s a fine feast, and it isn’t too hard on the ol’ dabloons. Just make sure you eat heartily enough to keep up with your mateys on the dance floor.
Enjoy yer meal,
Lenny
Dear Lenny,
I’m still in this round of senior assassin, and my dress costs too much to get wet. I’m worried someone will get me out while I take pictures before the dance. What should I do?
Best,
Terrified Target
Dear Terrified Target,
Lucky for you (and your dress), Prom is an immunity day! You don’t have to worry about scallywags coming to eliminate you, but Sunday…All’s fair in senior assassin and water warfare.
Sincerely,
Lenny
Dear Lenny,
I’m worried about prom. I have a date in mind but I don’t know how to ask them out. What’s a cool way to ask someone out for prom?
Thanks,
Procrastinator
Dear Procrastinator,
Ahoy, I recall the days of young love, chasing mermaids through the seas. I think you should wait to do your promposal at lunch.
To really impress this fine matey, you need all hands on deck. Get your friends in on it so that your promposal is TOP TIER. You and your friends should stand on one of the tables with signs, balloons and roses, and scream across the room to your date. I guarantee they’ll say yes!
It’s never too late for love, but make haste! You’re almost out of time!
Good luck!
Lenny
Dear Lenny,
I’m going to prom with my date, but I’m not sure what color I should wear. What would you recommend?
Sincerely,
Colorless
Dear Colorless,
There’s only one hue that will halt your suitor in their tracks…GOLD! It’s the color of treasure, and they ought to know that you’re the greatest prize.
Avast, if you’re having trouble finding any attire, stop by room 143 and see if Mrs. Nelson-Burgess has anything that makes ye merry!
Best,
Lenny
Dear Lenny,
I’m so excited for prom. I love being on the dance floor, but I have zero rhythm. I don’t want to embarrass myself or my date. What should I do?
Best,
Rhythmless
Dear Rhythmless,
I’m glad you asked me for help! Arrgh, I once won back my crew in a swashbuckling dance-off for the ages.
My advice to ye: try to learn all the TikTok dances you can before prom. I’ve been doing the same, and not to toot my own horn, but… toot toot! My moves are the scuttlebutt of the ship!
Best of Luck,
Lenny
